Haiku Tuesday 5/3/16 – Seasonal Allergies

Just for fun

Misc_pollen

You and I both love seasonal allergies. What do the Haiku Bros. think?

Chris

Pollen and ragweed
Lawn mowers and weed eaters
Don’t get me started

 

Jared

The Pollen returns
Scratchy eyes, stuffy noses
Whose idea was this?

 

Justin

Snot, snot, snot, snot, snot
I love the change of seasons
But my nose hates it

 

Jared

If Trump builds a wall
To keep the pollen away
I might vote for him

Parks

Pollen grains wasted
In nasal canals, but not
Stuck to stigmata

 

Parks

Claritin, Flonase,
Allegra, Zyrtec, Semprex,
Flovent, Symbicort.

 

Mark

Dear Mister Pollen
I hate you with a passion.
That is all I’ve got.

 

Justin

I have a black car
Eleven months of the year
This month it’s yellow

 

Justin

Do you think nature
made a deal with pharmacies
To increase drug sales?

 

Mark

What is the best cure
For seasonal allergies?
Eat sweet bee vomit

 

Parks

Bees carry pollen
Eighty thousand grains per day
And never once sneeze

 

Parks

A man asked if I
Had seasonal allergies
I sneezed in his face.

 

 

Haiku Tuesday 4/27/16 – Mark Twain

Just for fun

Mark_Twain_by_AF_Bradley

The guys weigh in with haiku on the late, great Mark Twain:

Jared

Let’s paint some fences
Or maybe you’ll paint the fences
It sure seems like fun

 

Mark

Mark Twain wrote stories
Then Mark Twain grew a mustache.
His mustache wrote more.

 

Chris

Mark Twain’s pseudonym
Was Philip P. Castlerock
No one’s heard of him

 

Jared

Twain knew how to deal
With Carpetbaggers: send em
To King Arthur’s court

 

Mark

Mark Twain theme is hard.
Or should you use difficult?
Don’t upset Mark Twain.

 

Jared

The Leatherstocking Tales
Gave literary offense
Bad Natty Bumpo

 

Justin

Samuel Langhorne
Clemens, better known by his
pen name. It’s Mark Twain

 

Justin

April twenty first
The month and the day he died
The year, nineteen ten

 

Justin

If you tell the truth,
you don’t have to remember
anything. – Mark Twain

 

Justin

(Ps – these were my
quick google search haikus for
lack of time today!)

 

Parks

Huck Finn discovered
Gravity waves since Twain and
Einstein are the same

 

Parks

Lover of white suits,
Critic of men, now in a
Cryogenic lab

 

Parks

Today’s Tom Sawyer
makes an impact because he
has a mean, mean stride

Haiku Tuesday 4/5/16 – Ladders and/or Lasers

Just for fun

Plasma_jacobs_ladder

Today’s theme was proposed by Chris Johnston. It was a tough one, but the guys pulled through for some quality haiku. I now give you 5 gentlemen and Some Syllables.

 

Ladders can be tall
Yao Ming prefers red lasers
Humans can be tall

by Parks Collins

 

Businessmen wear suits
Climbing corporate ladders
All about that cash

by Justin Brock

 

“Will shoot for ladders”
was written on the cardboard
full of bullet holes.

by Chris Johnston

 

Red laser pointer
Bathroom mirror, retina
bad ingredients

by Chris Johnston

 

Stone Mountain Georgia
The best laser show around
just my opinion

by Justin Brock

 

A laser ladder
Dangerous way to climb up
You might burn your hands.

by Jared Bowman

 

Lasers and ladders
Safe to use ’til you’re ninety
But not safe for geese.

by Parks Collins

 

Difference between
a ladder and a laser?
A heckuva lot.

by Mark T. Collins

 

Difference between
a ladder and a laser?
Two “d’s” and an “s”

by Parks Collins

 

If I were a spy
and had to cross a fence, use
lasers or ladders?

by Jared Bowman

 

An elevator
is faster than a ladder
Just push a button

by Chris Johnston

 

Also a laser
is faster than a ladder
Just push a button

by Chris Johnston

 

Come and climb with me
the ladder of abstraction.
Fall and hit concrete.

by Mark T. Collins

 

There are sometimes spies
in romantic comedies
climbing tall ladders.

by Justin Brock

 

Laser surgery:
Helping construction workers
safely climb ladders.

by Justin Brock

 

Ella Toe Head

Just for fun

Ella Toe Head

On a morning just like any other morning, Ella woke up an got out of bed. She looked in the mirror and screamed! “AHHH! When did I grow toes on my head?”

Ella made her way downstairs. Her mother walked past her and didn’t think twice as she smiled at her daughter and said, “Ella, my dear don’t your toes look nice.”

Ella was quite confused at what her mother had said. She thought to herself, “Toes are not supposed to grow on your head!”

They live on the end of your sweet little feet, hiding in your shoes and under your sheets.

“Maybe Daddy will know about these toes up there. He always has wisdom and insight to share.”

Back upstairs little Ella did creep with her toes on her head and toes on her feet.

Her father was sitting in his chair with a book. And he said to Ella without taking a look.

“Ella my dear what have you done. You grew toes on your head. My, my what fun.”

They laughed and they giggled and they rolled on the floor. And then big brother came bursting through the door.

“Doesn’t anyone else think it is strange,” he said. “That Ella has grown three toes on her head?”

“Cut them off now, make them go away. Ella, toes on your head look weird, I must say.”

Father and mother looked at big brother and said, “We love your sister Ella even with toes on her head.

“Some people are different than you and me. Some are quite tall, others short as can be.

“Some can grow hair while others have none. Some like to walk, others like to run.

“So we love your sister, toes on top and all. Nothing can change that however big or small.

“You see big brother, our love is from God who gives it without fail. And we love you too even though you grew a tail!”

 

by Mark T. Collins
written in Gatlinburg, TN sometime after having a conversation with Ella’s dad about a dream she had

© 2016 Mark T. Collins All Rights Reserved

Haiku Tuesday: Thursday Edition 3/31/16 – Romantic Comedies

Just for fun

This week, we have a new write that joins our ranks. His name is Parks Collins. We are glad to have him. Make him feel welcome.

Hugh Grant is the best
for romantic comedies
Notting Hill, et al.

by Chris Johnston

 

Jenny from the block
plans a wedding, wrecks a home.
Boycott her music.

by Parks Collins

 

RomCom plot line pitch:
Keanu woos his new Mac
by punching windows.

by Jared Bowman

 

Central Park Jackets
can be serendipitous
during light snowfall

by Parks Collins

 

If you need a laugh
and you’re looking for “the one,”
Netflix, here we come

by Chris Johnston

 

Love in the time of
Cholera. Phone numbers in
books lead to “the one.”

by Mark T. Collins

 

Love in the time of
cell phones. So many new apps.
Which way do I swipe?

by Jared Bowman

 

You’ve got “Seattle
Mail versus Sleepless Joe
Volcano” movie.

by Mark T. Collins

 

The McConaissance
Interstellar made up for
Matt’s failure to launch.

by Jared Bowman

 

It was love at first…
Sight was a bit challenging
for they were both blind.

by Justin Brock

 

Five Men together
writing about romance, now
that’s a comedy

by Jared Bowman

 

 

Haiku Tuesday 3/22/16: Espionage

Just for fun

Spies

If you are only
half a spy then you are not
truly a whole spy.

by Mark T. Collins

 

I would be a spy
solely to get all the gear.
Just think of the fun!

by Justin Brock

 

Spies do not exist.
I have never met a spy.
Think of it. Have you?

by Mark T. Collins

 

“I spy something blue”
True spies play spy games with kids
Fatherhood comes first

by Justin Brock

 

What if Tom Cruise spies
On all the politicians
Disguised as Ted Cruz

by Jared Bowman 

 

They are all around
Spies of the apocalypse
Most wear shiny hats

by Mark T. Collins

 

Sneaky sneakery
And hiding in the bushes
Spies do not get caught

by Chris Johnston

 

If you are a spy
Please raise your hand – Trick question
Your cover is blown

by Chris Johnston

 

The world’s greatest spy
Bourne, Bond. Bauer are legends
But I’d choose Siri

by Jared Bowman

 

New idea for an
Arnold Schwarzenegget film:
Kindergarten Spy

by Mark T. Collins

 

If I were a spy
I would grow a fierce mustache
to confuse people

by Justin Brock

 

Maybe movie stars
are the the real spies. It would be
the perfect cover.

by Jared Bowman

 

Trying to catch spies
can be very dangerous.
Spies know karate.

by Jared Bowman

 

There are some people
that you’ll never even see.
An you never will.

by Chris Johnston

 

The key for all spies
is invisibility
and clean underwear.

by Justin Brock

 

If spies could talk, they
would not be at all good.
Mum is the word. Mum.

by Mark T. Collins

 

If someone says, “mum”
then you know they are a spy
because that’s their word.

by Chris Johnston

 

in 2016
I bet robots will be spies.
Wait, it’s ’16 now.

by Justin Brock

 

Sea turtles are real.
But not spies or unicorns.
What’s up with that?

by Mark T. Collins

 

You should take a bath
if you want to be a spy.
An avoid fiber.

by Chris Johnston

 

Piper spies Spry’s pies.
Spry spies Piper’s spicy pie.
Spry pies Piper’s spies.

by Mark T. Collins

 

Teachers send students
to spy on textbooks at home.
Teachers don’t trust books.

by Justin Brock

 

Spies don’t eat mussels.
Muscles are required for spies.
Confusing for some.

by Mark T. Collins

 

 

 

 

Haiku Tuesday 3-15-16: Space Travel

Just for fun

space travel.jpgI now present to you, Haiku Tuesday: Space Travel

Reaching for the stars
Vast expanse, great adventure
Not many rest stops…

by Jared Bowman

We settled on Mars
Santa’s commute got longer
NASA – naughty list

by Jared Bowman

I often wonder
Do you get overtime to
rescue Matt Damon?

by Jared Bowman

Space travel topic
About to make a haiku
Space travel haiku

by Chris Johnston

Star light star bright
If I see a star tonight
I’ll put up a fight

by Chris Johnston

S P A C E
T R A V E L S
Space travels spelled out

by Christopher Johnston

Can you see the stars?
Circle circle dot dot dot
Punch me in the fax

by Mark T. Collins

Haiku Tuesday 3-1-16: Fruit!

Just for fun

Welcome to the first edition of Haiku Tuesday. Below you will find selections on fruit from two of my good friends – Chris Johnston and Jared Bowman.

Enjoy!

fruit basket

Sliced diced quickly served
A juicy feast fixed up fast
My fast food fruit stand

by Jared Bowman

 

Lonely forgotten
Misunderstood tomato
Trapped in the salad

by Jared Bowman

 

Snow White’s apple pie
Seven Dwarves expect dessert
One won’t be enough

by Jared Bowman

 

Fruit comes in a bowl
At least it does in paintings
Try to prove me wrong

by Chris Johnston

 

F-R-U-I-T
Antioxidants and all
Oxidants are bad

by Chris Johnston

 

Ukelele fruit
Upside down pineapple band
Unbearable sound

by Mark T. Collins

 

Aprico appl
anana trawberry grap
Words don’t taste like fruit

by Mark T. Collins

Just for Fun – Haiku Tuesdays

Just for funOn Tuesdays we will be starting new – Haiku Tuesday!

This will be fun and we need to hear from you. Haiku originated in Japan. I am not sure of all of it’s history, you can go to some other more informed internet website for that.

The way I learned it in elementary school was 5-7-5. The first line has five syllables. The second line has seven syllables. And the last line have five syllables. 5-7-5!

Perfect. Now you have it. If you are still having trouble, just ask Siri. She will write some haiku for you.

What we will do is post a topic every Monday. Then on Tuesday, we will release into the world new haiku that is submitted.

Today’s batch of Haiku come to you from some of my good friends. The category is fruit. Look out for their haiku later on today. While you are waiting, go ahead and write a haiku about fruit. Leave your haiku in the comments below. Remember 5-7-5!

Happy Haiku Tuesday.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: